長風邪は治らず、咳が止まらない上に、７月３日以来左耳の聴力も戻ってこないので、病院嫌いの一平ですが、さすがにやばいと思いまして、救急病棟に行くことにしました。私の個人の診断では絶対に突発性難聴だと思いました。これは浜崎あゆみさんも罹った病気で、２週間以内に治療を始めないと一生聴こえなくなるそうで、浜崎あゆみさんの場合はツアー中で病院に行けず、結局左耳の聴力を失ったそうです。
(Sorry, this is a long entry)
I had had this annoying flu for a long time. I could not stop coughing and the worst thing was that I had lost hearing on my left ear since July 3. Although I really hate hospitals, I had no choice but to run to an ER. I looked up on the internet to find out what I have on my left ear. According to the symptoms I had, that was Sensorineural hearing loss, that is a perfectly healthy person loses hearing all of a sudden and there is no known cause for that. There is a way to cure it but you have to start the process in two weeks. Ayumi Hamasaki, the most popular singer in Japan for the last decade and Janet-Jackson kind of figure, got this disease but she could not go to hospital in two weeks because she was in the middle of the tour.To end up with, she completely lost her hearing on her left ear.
マンハッタンのベルビュー病院に行き、待つ事３時間、ようやく聴力検査をしてもらい、そしてようやく医者の先生に診てもらいました。一通りインターンらしき医学生の女の子に診てもらった後、先生がようやく立ち上がり、私の左耳をルーペ的なもので見て一言、
『ああ、こりゃ鼓膜が破れてるね』
I went to Bellevue Hospital in Manhattan, waited for three hours, did the audio test, then finally saw the doctor. After an intern examined my ear and nose and everywhere, the doctor picked up some kind of instrument to look inside of my left ear, then said,
"I see, your eardrum has ruptured"
へ？鼓膜？突発性難聴じゃないの？メニエール病は？滲出性（しんしゅつせい）中耳炎は？（喘息も併発する）好酸球性中耳炎とかじゃないの？と、この４日間でやたら耳の病気に詳しくなってしまった一平でありました。しかし、解せないのはこの風邪のような症状です。なんで鼓膜が破れると風邪ひくのでしょうか？
What? My eardrum popped? I had a doubt on other diseases like Ménière's disease, but just my eardrum was busted? Well, I would not be surprised on his answer if I did not have this detestable flu-like symptoms. So why does a busted eardrum make me coughing and sneezing and what not.
先生の話によると、鼓膜が破れたから風邪のような症状がでたのではなく、風邪をひいて何度もクシャミをしたり鼻をかんだりしているうちに鼓膜にダメージが与えられて、ついに鼓膜が破れてしまったのだろうとのことでした。なるほど、そういうことでしたか。
The doctor said it was not the popped eardrum which made me sick but, by sneezing and blowing my nose caused by flu, my eardrum had got weakened and finally popped. I see. It is logical.
私、鼓膜が破れた瞬間って実は覚えているのですよ。ギグの帰りにニューヨークの地下鉄に乗ってて、クイーンズからマンハッタンに入るあたり、すなわちトンネルがさらに深くなる所でそれが起こったのでございますよ。んで、この『風邪のような症状から始まって、しかも聞こえなくなった瞬間がわかる』というのが前述の浜崎あゆみさんが罹った突発性難聴の特徴らしいので、私も絶対に同じ病気だと思ったのです。
I remember the exact moment which I lost hearing, that is when I was on the subway on the way back from a gig, the tunnel got deeper when the train went under the East River between Queens and Manhattan, then it happened. The characteristics of Sensorineural hearing loss, which I wrote above, is "starting with flu-like symptoms, and the person can tell the exact moment when he lost the hearing." That's it. I really thought I got this disease.
全治１か月。特に薬も貰わず、ギグも続けていいそうです。シャワーを浴びる時は耳にワセリンを含ました綿を入れる事。これさえ守れば傷口が化膿しない限り、聴力は必ず戻るとのことでした。一安心でございました。何はともあれ、治る病気（怪我？）で良かった、良かった。
A month to heal. No drugs or anything. The doc said I could continue gigging and do everything what I usually do. Only thing I had to do is to put in a cotton wad with vaseline when I take a shower, and if the wound does not get infected, I will get my hearing back. I was so really relieved. Oh, you can not imagine.
Illustration: もずねこ
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